Things on my heart

I've been struggling with some things here lately, mostly revolving around doing what's best for Hudson and not what I want....biscuits, eggs, yadda yadda yadda.... but there's been something else on my heart lately and I feel like God is telling me to share.  That's hard.  Really?  You want me to share what's on my heart??? Well, here goes....A few weeks ago Tim and I stayed up really late just talking.  We don't get to do that much anymore with three children around!  I told him what had been on my heart about my past and left it at that.  Back in January, I sold some cloth diapers on cragslist to who has now become a good friend.  We met, exchanged diapers/money, chatted for a bit and left thinking nothing would ever become of it.  We texted here and there and she invited me to a bible study that they have at her church twice a month.  I went, met some other awesome ladies and love going every other Thursday morning.  Our study yesterday morning was on John chapter 8.  It's about the adultress woman.  We read it, discussed it breifly, and let the kids play.  Tonight was their annual women's conference and since Tim was off tonight and could stay home with the kids, I decided to go!  I needed a break.  The speaker, who had no clue what we studied yesterday morning, talked about John chapter 8 tonight.....  I don't believe in coincidences so I know this is God talking to me!  And here's what's on my heart.  At 19 I got married.  It wasn't an "on the whim" type of marriage.  We dated for a while, was engaged for a while and got married.  I always felt like something was missing but wasn't sure what.  On the day I married him, I would have never guessed I would get divorced.  That wasn't an option.  A few years went by, I headed down a road of doing what I wanted instead of what God possibly wanted.  We really didn't have a marriage.  I went through the motions of being a Christian, but had lost that relationship I once had with Christ.  Things happened out of order during all of this time and I was living in a mess!  I held it all together (so I thought) , but I was a mess.  I am now happily married to the love of my life and we have three beautiful children who truely are huge blessings to us!  Tim and I haven't always had the best marriage, but by the Grace of God, we are still married, and more in love today than the day we married each other.  We have  a strong marriage, but it didn't come easy at all times.  There were so many times we both wanted to walk away from it.  But we didn't.  We held on tight and prayed like crazy!  I guess what I am trying to say is I made a  lot of mistakes...still do..... but God has made a beuatiful masterpiece out of some messy situations, called our family, and He's still working on it!  I've struggled with being forgiven but I feel Him ever so much right now shouting to me... YOU ARE FORGIVEN!!!  I died on that cross to save you!  thank you Heavenly Father for saving me.    Thank you for loving me just as I am...a failure at times and successful at times, somewhat of a control freak at times, hard to love and live with at times...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!  I know that I dragged myself out of bed yesterday morning to get to bible study... I know that I was there tonight to hear Him speak to me....Thank you for knowing exactly who we need in our lives and what we need when we don't always know!